Hello, I’m back. Just for a little while. Just to vent real quick.

So I saw this abstract floating around on the internet, Facebook to my exact. Honestly I’m pretty convinced nothing good comes from Facebook, that is why I don’t go scrolling down my Facebook news feed. However, I haven’t been able to bring myself to delete the app, after all it’s kinda useful to figure out people’s birthdays and such. My current issue with Facebook is that I have to clear the notifications (Why are people still sending Candy Crush requests on Facebook in 2017? At your big age?). So that was what I was trying to do today, clearing my notifications. But even before I could get there, the first thing I saw was this title in bold letters, “The case for colonialism”.

I know it seems like the new trendy thing to do is to dispute commonly held beliefs, especially in this America place. “The world is flat”. “Oh that isn’t racism, it’s just economic anxiety”. “The real racists are the people always crying race”. “Kevin Durant is the best player in the NBA”. You know, stupid stuff. But what you’re NOT going to do, Dr. Bruce Gilley, thou of a Princeton Ph.D. (yes I googled him), is open your big fat mouth to say “Western colonialism was, as a general rule, both objectively beneficial and subjectively legitimate”. No, you don’t get to do that. Not today boy, not today.

The first thing I wanted to do when I saw the abstract was read the paper, and so I searched the Internet and my school’s library, but a paywall lay between Bruce Gilley’s words and my waiting eyes. And no, I’m not going to pay to read a trash paper just so I can call it trash. I’ll just skip the inbetween and jump right to the trash calling.

I sincerely marvel at the audacity, the brash, stupid audacity, it takes to say that countries that embraced the forceful takeover of their homes, societies and resources were better off than countries that resisted the hostile crimes committed against them. I really thought it was an Onion article. This is an educated opinion oh.

You know what Bruce Gilley, what I want you do is gather all the African leaders and preach your beliefs to them. You don’t need to add the ways in which the West has continued to hamper the development of the countries they lead and how they’ve grown on the backs of their countries. After all many of them were your partners in these endeavours. Instead let them know that Western countries enriching themselves with the resources stolen from their land was beneficial for the countries made up from thin air and left behind to suddenly figure out nation building. Then go to the African people, and tell them about the extractive institutions their colonial masters implemented so that they could get as much as they could out of the land before handing the manual over to the elites they trained in their universities who replaced a British or French pocket with their own. Tell them it was all for their good. Suggest that they submit themselves to British control again. Maybe this time, you can meet in New York instead of Berlin to determine how the West creates new Western colonies.

Make your case for colonialism, I dare you.

 

Life update: Oh GREs, you think I don’t recognize you because you changed your name? I can smell ridiculous examination methods regardless of the form you choose to take, SAT. You can’t fool me SAT. I beat you once, I’ll beat you again.

 

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